Why Share My Salvation Journey
It has always been part of the plan that I share my testimony in my blog. There has never been a question of whether or not this is something I would want to do. I believe that spiritual health is just as important if not more and it can affect an individual’s physical health. I also think that I need to be honest with my readers as to who I am. Although my spiritual awakening journey started long before I came to the United States, I will focus on the events that happened after I arrived.
80’s Culture Shock
To say that we went through culture shock when I moved to San Francisco was the understatement of the century. After years of dreaming, planning, and anticipation, we finally moved from the sleepy coastal town to the bustling urban jungle. We were greeted by punk rockers, break-dancers, shoulder pads, big hair, and bright, neon, clothing!
Religious But Not Saved
It was between 1983 and 1986 when the Lord made me more aware of His pursuit. I was just an immigrant high school kid who was also a devout Catholic. I was taught that the Roman Catholic Church was the first and one true church and I believed it!
Weird, Friendly, Other Denominations
Back in the Philippines, I had encountered and even attended a service at a Protestant church our neighbor attended. My initial impression was that these people were really weird and too friendly. They all had these annoying smiles on their faces. It was just something I did not experience whenever I attended mass. However, it also made me question why we weren’t kinder and friendlier, and why we didn’t have that camaraderie.
God Pursued Me
My friends and I wandered along Mission St. in the Excelsior neighborhood after school. There I encountered some Christians from a local church who would boldly share the gospel on the streets. Being a religious person who believed I was inherently good, I did not feel the need for the gospel. The first time I was invited to go to the service, I agreed to go to be polite. However, as soon as I walked into the sanctuary, I went into panic mode inside and thought, “Oh no! Not these weird, super-friendly Protestants again!” After that first visit, I made sure to avoid them every time I saw them on the sidewalk preaching and sharing the word.
Boldness in Christ
I was, however, intrigued by their boldness. I was impressed that they were not ashamed to talk about Jesus and that they did not shrink back when people questioned them. There was one question they asked me that stayed with me. Try as I might to make my morality up with good works, I could not get that assurance of salvation.
Testing The Spiritual Waters
What was interesting is that I would also pray, “If these people are from you God, I will run into them again this week!” The Lord always answered my prayer and then I would freak out and run home! I ran into them on the streets, on the bus, in school, at the BART station, at the mall…just about EVERYWHERE!
They Found Me!
One Saturday afternoon, my brother woke me up from a much-needed nap. Needless to say, I was quite annoyed. I had gone to school very early that day to go to Driver’s Training. Remember that? It’s amazing how kids nowadays have to pay to learn how to drive!
Meeting A Lifelong Friend
I went up to the front door where our next-door neighbor, Mely, and her young niece, Annie, were waiting. They greeted me with the same friendliness that those “weird people” have. To my dismay, I found out that they were from the same church. My initial thought was, “HOW DID THEY FIND ME HERE?”
They were looking for my mom but she was working at the time. My brother, for whatever reason, did not tell them to just come back another time. He thought I was the next most logical person for them to talk to.
Conviction
I was as rude and as condescending as I could be to get rid of them. That did not work. I asked Annie years later why she kept going and she said the Holy Spirit told her to. By the end of the conversation, we had planned for them to pick me up the very next day to go to the service. This time though, I knew what to expect. My heart was ripe for the picking.
The Holy Spirit Hovered
I knew that this Sunday morning was different. Somehow, there was a spiritual presence and an anticipation that I had never felt before. All those years of hearing the gospel and encountering believers were about to culminate in that one service. The Holy Spirit had been hovering over me from the beginning.
I remember vividly when we sang, “How Great Thou Art,” during worship. At the end of the service, the pastor invited the congregation to step forward if we wanted to invite Jesus into our hearts and lives. My heart was open, but my feet felt as if they were cemented to the floor. Finally, Annie asked me if I wanted to step forward. I nodded and asked her to walk with me.
Repentance
As I stood before the altar, my eyes started to well up. I silently scolded myself! “Why am I crying? This is so stupid! I don’t even know why I’m crying about this! This is not something to cry about!”
Sanctification
The tears kept rolling! It was cleansing and transforming as I wept over what I understand now to be my sins and rebellion. I looked back to all the years and the many instances when I had openly rejected Christ. I knew that my life was about to change. I knew that I would soon need to take a stand. I knew what was coming. I had counted the cost!
Conversion
It was the first time I experienced the presence of the Holy Spirit. That presence encompassed me inside and all around me. All I could think of as soon as I woke up in the morning was Jesus.
Trials And Tribulation
What followed was a year of testing. God tested my faith to strengthen me and train me to be steadfast. I don’t know if I would’ve stayed committed to following Him if I had made that decision earlier in my life.
Growth
For a minor teenager about to graduate high school, it was quite overwhelming. However, I grew fast spiritually through all the testing. As intense as it was, it does not compare to what many other believers experience, which is often a life-or-death situation. For that reason, I will not go through the details. God was faithful to provide for my needs and made things work together for good just as He promised in the Scriptures.
Reflection
I don’t claim to know all the answers but I know this one thing: God has been and always will be faithful—even when I strayed, even when I did not make the best decisions.